“How did it go?” I ask as we head for the car.
“Good. I think it’ll be useful.” She smiles, and wipes her eyes. “I didn’t last long before she made me cry.” She leans against my arm as we walk. “Thank you for turning up that night.”
My chest tightens, and I struggle to catch the words skipping over my tongue. “It wasn’t near soon enough.”
“Still, thank you.”
If only she knew how many times I’ve questioned whether I did the right thing that night. I don’t regret saving Rocco from certain death one iota, but fuck, was it worth it getting involved with her? My selfish, asshole side says yeah, it was. But I know I’m not what she needs. She may think I’m helping, but that’s only because she doesn’t know all of me yet. When she does, it’ll kill me to lose the way she looks at me now. I should have just taken her to a shelter, and left it at that.
What’s going to happen when she find out who I am?
What will she do when she see’s what kind of savage fucker I can be?
When she realizes that I haven’t been doing all of this solely for her.
MALICE COOKS us dinner that night. I can’t thank him enough for steering me toward the counselor. She didn’t say much I didn’t already know deep down, but hearing somebody else say it, in her own way, was an eye opener.
Given time, I hope that I can do what Malice said the other day: accept I’m a victim, and move on.
“Have you had enough?” Malice asks. He stands, and reaches for the dish of leftover roast meat in the center of the table.
“Yes, thanks.”
He carries it to the kitchen, all the while talking as he goes. “I wanted to talk to you about something, see if you were okay with it.”
“Um, sure?” My nerves peak. Is this a good, or bad thing?
“The boys and I meet up once a fortnight, and this week it’s my turn to host. Are you cool with them coming over?”
“It’s your place, Malice.” Yes, we both live here, but he still pays the rent. He still refuses my help.
“For the last time, it’s our place, Jane.” He smashes cutlery around, loading the dishwasher. “Are you okay with it?”
My shoulders drop, and I hang my head. “Yeah, I’m fine with it.”
“Once more with meaning.” He pretends to conduct me with a dirty knife.
I smile. “Yes, I’m okay with it.”
He nods, and continues loading the dishes.
“I like Bronx, and Tigger. It’ll be nice to meet the other three.”
His head shoots up, and his eyes bore into mine. “Three? Who said there’s three?”
“The photo in the hallway.”
He drops his gaze to the floor, and relaxes. “True. I forgot about that.”
“Is there not?”
He shakes his head. A dread fills my gut at where this is going. “There’s only four of us now.”
“Now?”
“Case and Seamus were taken out in a car accident a few years back.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah,” he says stacking dishes with a lot less vigor. “They were good guys. Anyway, it’s me, Bronx, Tigger, and Ty now.”
“I’d still like to meet Ty,” I offer.
He nods. “You’ll like him.”
“So, what do you do on your nights together? I mean, should I go somewhere, give you space?”
He shakes his head side to side, and puts the powder in the compartment. “No, you’ll be fine.”
“I don’t mind. I could go see a movie, or something.” Truthfully, the thought of going out alone scares me shitless—still. But I don’t want to crash a boy’s night in.
“One thing at a time, huh?”
“Sure.”
Rocco edges up beside me, and I run my fingers through his silky fur. Malice finishes tidying up, and we move ourselves to the lounge. He sits on the sofa, while I lie on the floor with Rocco. Without a TV, our nights have been spent talking, and it’s nice. We get along fine, even if we have kissed, and the sexual tension still tugs at us like a couple of charged magnets.
“Did you have any luck with those jobs you applied for?”
I nod. “A couple have asked for me to come in.”
“Interview?”
“I think it’s more to see if I can do the shifts they need.” Rocco emits a whistle out his nose, letting me know he’s enjoying the scratch I’m giving behind his ear.
“How you planning on getting there?”
Isn’t that the million-dollar question? “I’m not sure yet.”
“The bus doesn’t come this far, Jane.” The bastard smirks.